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I started studying computer science in 2016, after which I already had finished a master's degree. A part of me often wonders how it became to be this way and cannot accept that I had wasted so many years, while another part of me knows that this is the best thing I've ever done. Often I find myself infinitely thankful for having started studying CS because I enjoy it more than anything I've done before. Today I asked myself what computer science really means to me, because I often find myself lost among the day to day assignments and sometimes even feel demotivated. But I know that I need to remember the original "dream" and why I found CS so amazing in the first place. So here is an investigation on my relationship with computer science.

I like creating things

I like building things that are useful and that make a positive difference for myself, for other people, for the world.

I like applying computer science on other fields that are necessary

Something, that makes me feel less lonely. Maybe. Building things that expresses myself, creating art while writing programs, I think. That's the essence, of why computer scienece means so much to me. Because I have freedom to express myself and to show people who I am, as a person, to make people understand me. But I think, that also applies in the written language, such as reports. And also spoken language, such as when I'm the project leader for a group. But the topic of the reports and projects are important. They have to show who I am and what I stand for, such as the KEX topic we chose. I'm proud of it and hope for the best as for the datasets and methods are concerned.

So yes, I think I see computer science as a medium for creating art. That's why I like it so much. I feel like I have more tools and colors on my palette, when I know more about programming and the different languages and applications there are. And machine learning adds to this palette. So that I can create something beautiful. Is my wish deep down.

So yes, it's very much like Jiro's relationship with building airplanes in The Wind Rises. My relationship with creating something beautiful with computer science techniques, among other things.

I just hope that I can create something that will be of a positive difference rather than a machine of destruction.